One Year After 26/11

सुबह उगे नफरत की धुंध से, घुटन से, अंधियारे की चुभथी चादर से...

They came in through the sea with impunity
To mutiny against hope and against peace and joy
It wasn't a bunch of people, held hostage on the sly
It was mumbai, it was the whole city that cried
The skies of the night were filled with angry flame
And the billowing smoke and darkness of human pain
They rained hatred...spewed it in a shower of bullets
Our blood was innocent..and still they wanted to spill it
You've got to will it and it happens..that's what they say
So who willed it? Why us? Why don't we have a say?


ज़ख्म भरी यादें, डरा हुआ जहाँ, घने हैं साए मौत के यहाँ

A whole day that burnt into the night that burst into a day
That screamed into the night. They fight-
-Against hate that burnt like a blister, stung like a curse,
That scars like a wound that's left to fester
Each moment a forever of agonising pain
That wept into days that drove us insane
What gain what motive, what cruel intent
Can drive them to action beyond repent


सिसकती हैं हज़ार आँखें खौफ में खोई, पर भूल गए हैं बाक़ी सारे

It's all over now, (they said), the water's under the bridge, (they said)
No reason to be angry or hold a grudge, (they said)
Let the government take over, you don't get to judge, they said
Well, yeah! it's over for the hundreds who died
And for their brothers, sisters, mums and dads
And the baby that cried
When you love someone with your heart and your soul
And he's gone, a piece of you's empty, and you're no more whole
It's not over and it is not the end,
There's tears and scars and memories you just can't mend
What happened was wrong, don't need you to read me the rules
Look to your heart, your conscience, don't need no other tools
We're healing, but we're waiting for some kind of sign
That we're really safe...but we're still not fine
We're healing....

Ancient and Ever New

Mighty rivers and forgotten streams
Lucid verse lost in ancient reams
The search for self, and the wisdom that lies
Shining in the soul's colossal skies

The brushwork of dawn, and the symphonies
Of trees and birds and bumblebees
The songs of the night, the moon's silence bright
In the reign of dream's mysteries

The play of love in the hearts of men
The sharp gleam of want in their eyes
The beaten track from clueless birth
To death that waits round a bend

In these are hidden the folds of time
And the stark beauty of the ever new
And like the sun engulfed by a drop of dew
It is to them that I liken you

For just as a pond's silent chime
Holds time in it's heart
So too are you hewn of timelessness
And a pinch of the ever new

As you remain cheerfully unchanged
You are born anew each day
And while you tread the beaten road
You shall make your own way

Wild Blossoms

She sings to her lone self
A secret, naughty tune
That draws the forest's thousand ears
Like new meaning in lost runes

She hides in the darkest violets
and deep blues and satin reds
And bold fuchsias and tangy orange
And the blushing pink of newly weds

She sews on the hews with daydreams
And tall tales and stories old
With sunlight for her needle
And the stories for her thread

She waits for no hand to tell her
How soft her petals are
Nor a nose to sniff her wild scent
That is half dream, half yearning intent

She knows, soon it will come
His gaze that will stray to her clearing
Rise to her perch on blackened stone
And as a raindrop, touch her core

He will see the wild blossom
And hear her secret tune,
And he will know she is happy, simply to be
Content and alone and free

Musings

What will I be when I grow up? Like all children, I used wonder about this, daydream in class, dream about it at night. And sometimes, just let my thoughts wander, as I wondered.

I am no more a child, nor someone on the verge of adulthood. I am now a man, and have been, for a few years. I have, you could say, grown up! And still, everyday, I ponder upon this question; What will I be?

Just when life brings me to a destination, I realise it is no more than another crossroads, with possiblities both obscure and obvious. It almost feels like I'm trying to predict a future that simply does not exist until it becomes the present.

I have wondered why this is. Why do I still seek? What is it that I seek? What am I waiting for? I do not see this as a problem to solve, but a question to which I seek an answer. What is the difference? Simply this; it does not bother me that I have not found the answer yet. Nor do I think it will upset me if I do not find it at all. I don't need the solution. I do not crave the answer. It will come to me. Until then, I cannot stop waiting.

Does the answer lie in what I am today? It is possible. For isn't all of time one single, seamless, thread? The tree of history is the seed of the future. No matter where I am, I am in som sense, at the beginning. So let me begin...

Today, I am an observer.

I act with the confidence of twenty five years of conditioning. I react with the slow sureness of a thinking intellect; an intellect capable of lofty surrealty and perverse logic in equal meaure.

I create new ideas from those that already exist. I create because I a drawn to new ideas. They allow me to delve into the waters of infinite possibilities - the answers to my question - and swim through them, looking for nothing, but finding what I like, liking what I find, at that moment.

I believe in concepts that take me beyond logic - I weild my destiny. I am, but a leaf, drifting in the winds of destiny. I am destiny, and I am the leaf. There is a purpose to life. To grow beyond a purpose,is life.

In all these I believe, without contradiction. Because deep down, they make sense to me. I cannot explain them, but I know them, like I would know the depth of the ocean while standing upon its shores. I cannot tell you how deep it is, but I 'know' it.

But above all, I am an observer. For I believe this is not part of my conditioning. Remove all my layers, one after another, and in the nothingness of my being, there will be a witness, whose purpose is neither to record, nor judge, but to simply see.

That is what I am today. Have I always been so? I do not know. Does a child remember the first time it spoke? Does the infant recall its first words? What is the first moment of sleep, the last instant of the waking?

The dawn of a new day nulls the existence of the night. I do not know what I was before, or even if there was a 'before'. I have always been an observer. A witness to myself. A lone pebble under the swirling stars.

And this, is the sum of my being.

Touch

And I said to the stars
'Hush! twinkle not so loud
For it is time for the dew to bloom
Upon the flower's honey'd lips'

So the stars sprinkled their glow
Upon the softened sleeping night
And fell into my dreams
To sing their song, clear and bright

Many a night have I seen
Still, the silence beckons me close
For in it I found true wonder
And peace without repose...

Upon the sands one night I slept
And the tides of my hearts arose
To meet the sea as the starlight wept
And to kiss the wind as it rose

And as the wave nibbled at my feet
And the wind brushed my hair
I felt a void, a choking loneliness
That laid my soul bare

'Why', I asked my feathered kin
My brother of freedom and flight
'Do I sense the weight of the quiet
And the awnings of the night?'

'I am free', said the wind
'In lightless caves and rustling trees
In unfettered gales and mellow breeze
From breath to sky, I move with ease'

And so I asked my friend
Nature's heart that beat silent
'Why do I feel like a shell
Like an empty echo's haunt?'

'I am forever', said the sea
'In my womb I carry life
In my swell I bear mysery
And upon my waves, eternity'

My query burned unanswered
Through all that was quiet within
'Pon the sands that night I slept
Bereft of friend or kin

In vain I looked to my empty self
My wanderings came to naught
I was doomed to live alone, but not free
For I knew not what I sought

Neither end did I see to this dark within
Nor merciful respite
But the lamp of hope glowed softly on
Against doubt's tiresome spite

One night, when the starlit sky shone bright
And all was dark within
Your footsteps murmured on the sand
Like ether's pulse awakened

With every step you routed distance
Until nearness was all I knew
And then you knelt by my side
To give me life anew

All it took was a touch
To set free my ragged soul
All it took was a smile
To make my being whole

The sea was now within me
And in my breath, the breeze
Space was a drop within my soul
In my silence, time would freeze

All it took was a touch and a smile
To find you within me
As you walked into the night, I knew
You were all that I would see



'Tis love that whispers silent tunes
That cross the seas and sylphlike dunes
'Tis love that weaves unspoken words
Into vibrant dreams and mellow hues

'Tis for love alone that the twain do meet
The raging heart and the soul aflow
'Tis love that pines then soars with joy
Like a burning fire aglow